Leven met de natuur
december 8, 2023
Wat smeer jij op je huid?
maart 2, 2024A game of three questions: relational psychology
Relational psychology, a branch of psychology that focuses on improving a person’s awareness of the role of relationships, and patterns that can occur within those unisons, that can be both positive and negative.
This approach supports an individual in increasing more positive connections with people around them, therefore, cultivating stronger and arguably healthier relationships. In doing so, it is likely to improve well-being and a lessening of distress, which often cause feelings of disempowerment and lowering of belief of self-worth. There is a rather to-the-point quote by Sigmund Freud that frequently circulates on social media that says something along the lines of, ‘before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by arseholes.’ This quote is in keeping with a relational psychological standpoint.
In one of Teal Swans’ vlogs, she plays a game with her viewers. The game contains three questions:
- What is your favorite color and three deep reasons why?
- What is your favorite animal and three deep reasons why?
- What is your favorite form or body of water (such as ice, rain or sea) and three deep reasons why?
The person being asked is to give contemplation and to look beneath the surface for the answers to the question. ‘Just because I like it’, does not possess to the depth of response required. If you would like to play along as you read, write or type your answers now. If you were doing this with another person, observe their reactions to the question and how they answer. We will come onto this later, the reason. It is commonly known that humans, generally, are predisposed to associate things with other things and at times these links can be advantageous to better understanding yourself. Especially for those who struggle to be introspective. This type of activity seemingly can tap into your subconscious and reveal realizations and feelings that may help you resolve an issue you are facing.
If participating in the game, please take some time to think carefully and continue reading once you have completed this task. Otherwise, please read on.
So, you or another should now have three answers for each of the three questions above. Relational psychology deems that the person answering, is answering about something different entirely. Allegedly what is being responded to is:
- The truth about how the self is seen by them.
- The truth about what they are looking for in others.
- The truth about how they view their own sexuality.
By analyzing either yourself whilst answering or observing the other person completing this task you may pick up on patterns or behaviors and this provides further perspective. For example, not being able to decide on three deep responses to ‘what animal do I like?’, suggests that perhaps you aren’t sure what you are looking for in others. Likewise, if you are unforthcoming with deep reasons e.g., why green is your favorite color, this could suggest that you don’t like to be pinned down to one version of yourself. You perhaps on any given day see yourself differently, dependent on mood or experience. These responses are insights into an area of the brain that can be largely inaccessible for some.
I am not suggesting this game or the words of Swan to be suited to all. However, taking into consideration the possibility of relational psychology opens the potential for you to improve relationships in your life to be mutually beneficial, and a potential by-product is enrichment of your present circumstances.
Gwenny Mees
Laten we er voor elkaar zijn, wees dat lichtpuntje in iemands leven, dat maakt de wereld mooier! Voor meer informatie en updates over yoga en transformatief coachen, volg mij op instagram @laluna.yoga.nl
